The painting that taught me patience (and other miracles of being a Seven)
How the Enneagram helped this Seven hit the Pause Button
I’ve spent years studying mindfulness, meditation, Buddhist teachings, therapy—all of it. And it’s all helped, don’t get me wrong.
But something shifted when I added the Enneagram to the mix. These tools helped me understand and attend to my inner system, but the Enneagram gave me a lens from which to view it all. It provided a map to understand the parts of me that seemed less like parts and more like my temperament.
For instance when Friday hits and I’m super tired after the week but I have no plans. I get this unease. THis sadness. If unchecked, I begin calling all kinds of people and looking for all kinds of things to do . . even though I’m tired and would rather chill. I used to chalk it up to the fact that I love peaople and connections . . .which I do. However, once the veil came off the Seven traits, and I could see it for what it was, I was able to pause and see WHY i felt so desperate to connect. I could see the core motivation and the core desire, and most importantly - what I was avoiding!
As a Seven on the Enneagram (aka “The Enthusiast”), I’m wired for motion, imagination, and possibility. And let’s be honest, distraction.
I used to think I just loved options. And I do.
But underneath that? A real resistance to sitting still. To boredom. To anything that feels limiting or too heavy.
The Enneagram didn’t just explain that pattern. It helped me recognize it while it’s happening.
And that changed everything.
Now I can tell when I’m about to reach for something I don’t really need a candle at Marshall’s, an excited Friday, etc.). I can spot that urge to leap to the next shiny thing. I’m still me, of course—but now there’s more awareness. More choice.
Here’s a good example.
I started a painting recently.
I’m not an artist, just someone who enjoys making things. In the past, I’d rush through the process—throwing colors around, layering on materials, collaging quickly. The goal was to finish and move on.
This time, I tried something different. On purpose. Most skilled Enneagram teachers want us to lean OUT of our personality intentionally - that is what this painting was for me!
I painted a single layer, then waited for it to dry.
Then I added another. And waited again.
It’s been months. Every so often, I sit down and add a little more. Just a brushstroke here or there. No pressure. No deadline.
And you know what? It’s turning into something profound. A lesson in I do have patience, I can change.
You see it's not about the painting at all. It's about me leaning out of my personality and leaning into my Essence. The Essence is hard to explain, it's very much like the Self in parts work. It's something higher than our ego, more nuanced than the patterns we've been falling into most of our lives. It's moving out of that and realizing it's not just "that's the way I am." It's that we can change and grow and strive to be different and more grounded. That we can have more presence.
There have been times in my life when if I wasn’t moving and shaking, I thought I would die!!
Why?
Well, because I tried to avoid being present to myself - my suffering, your suffering, the world’s suffering. And one way to avoid that is to keep going. Over the years I've learned that I can sit still, I can be present to myself, to others, and the world. And in fact if I keep running away, I might miss pain, but I ultimately miss joy as well. I don’t have to rush. I don’t have to finish. I can stay with something. That’s a big deal for someone with a mind that’s always ten steps ahead.
Remember, this all came together over the years beause of the other tools, but now that I can see it as MY PERSONALITY - it’s that lens that helps be CATCH it easier.
And then there’s the book.
I’ve been talking about writing a book for 35 years. Dreaming it up has been easy. Talking about it? Delightful. But actually writing it? That has felt almost impossible.
Until recently.
Bit by bit, I’ve started. A paragraph here, a chapter there. It’s not fast. It’s not flashy. But it’s happening. And it feels like building a whole new muscle — one I didn’t know I had.
That’s the gift the Enneagram gave me. It helped me lean deeper into my pause. Choose. Stay.
Meditation has helped too. Which is wild, because Sevens aren’t known for loving stillness. When I first discovered myself as a Seven on the Enneagram some of it didn't fit, working with an Enneagram Coach we realized it's because I meditate. Meditation really changed my relationship with my internal system. It's also why it's more important than ever that I keep up that practice. Now I can sit with myself for a while.
Being a Seven isn’t’ about being optimistic all the time. It’s about seeing possibility. Needing possibility
And when we slow down enough to be present, that possibility starts to feel grounded. Not just what’s next, but what’s here. It takes a bit for Sevens to realize that looking for endless possibilities is actually limiting their exposure to what already exists right here right now.
So here’s to whatever part of you needs a little stillness this week. No matter your type on the Enneagram - we all need presence and stillness!
And if you’re a Seven too? I see you.
And I promise—waiting for the paint to dry isn’t the end of the world.
Sometimes, it’s the beginning of something beautiful.
P.S. Want to explore your Enneagram type in a way that actually helps you grow? I’m teaching a two-part Enneagram workshop in July. It’s online, it’s fun, and it’s open to all types. Click here for details.